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News Sentinel gets it right, and I blog like a pirate

Two articles on Jack McElroy's suit against County Commission appear in today's News Sentinel (here and here); believe it or not, I have no objections to either article's objectivity.

None.

They stick to the facts, avoid biased characterizations, and tell the story of yesterday's developments in a straightforward way without favoring one side over the other. I hope the coverage continues in this vein.

However, since today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, I feel the need to mark the occasion in some meaningful and commemorative way. As a result, here's the beginning of the second article referenced above, slightly altered, and with the names of the participants changed to their equivalent pirate names according to the Pirate Name Generator (for example, my pirate name is Cap'n Skyler Bloodsmear):

Scurvy dog gets reprieve on call for phone records. Arr, matey.
By Slashin' Eve Smythe
Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Knox County Commissioner Gorgeous Hubert Hacke won a reprieve Tuesday from a chancellor weighing what price Hacke should pay for failing to turn over his phone records. The chancellor suggested the Commissioner may be forced to walk the plank.

Knox County Chancellor Melancholy Burt Bellamy made no bones about his belief that Hacke thumbed his nose at a request months ago for Hacke’s phone records. "Arrr, the scurvy dog might walk the plank if he doesn't obey me orders," said the chancellor, between swills of grog.

[...]

But the chancellor said he would wait before deciding what, if any, sanction to impose on Hacke to see if his cellular phone provider, Cricket, responds to a subpoena filed by attorneys Whinin' Enrico Dregg and Pirate Butch the Ochre.

Maybe the News Sentinel should write all of its trial coverage this way.

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Published Wednesday, September 19, 2007 12:58 PM by RussMcBee

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