Embarrassment with toilet paper
Buying toilet paper is embarrassing. I don't really know why, since everybody does it, but it's embarrassing for some reason. Of course, I compound the embarrassment by purchasing those huge multi-roll packs that take two arms to carry. I also make a point of buying something else at the same time, like peanuts or Ziploc bags or something. I guess it's an attempt to camouflage the huge pile of bathroom tissue I'm carrying. "Maybe nobody will notice the 83 rolls of toilet paper in my arms if I put the dental floss on top of it," I think to myself.
Today, at a national chain drugstore here in Knoxstantinople, I walked up to the register with a gargantuan package and plopped it on the counter. The clerk said, in his best East Tennessee twang, and in a voice loud enough to be heard out on the street: "Ye ownt a big ole baig fer ye toelit paypur?"
Me, trying desperately to become invisible: "yes, please."